overrrr...

it is over.
like done.
finished.

but why am i so upset about it...
i wanted it..
but now do i still?

i am a terrible person.. PERIOD.

i just feel empty...
goshh..
why did i let all this happen?
is it just the idea or is it you...
i can't decide..

i can't do this to you.
it just isn't fair..
maybe i should just end the chapter here... and not look back..
but i don't want to end it..
or do i?

it feels like i am not even in control of my life..
i see things happening one way but i am screaming inside trying to stop it..
but no matter how loud i scream no one hears me..
and nothing changes...

it feels like whatever the right thing to do...
the person "controlling" does just the opposite..
why is that?

are "you" trying to ruin everything?

i am sorry...